The blessing of a migraine

It’s a beautiful sunny day here in the Mitten, the last we’ll be enjoying for a few days. There’s talk of snowflakes tomorrow! Good grief, Michigan, get a grip!

In other news. I’m on day three of a migraine which has had me creeping back to bed throughout the day, looking for silence and darkness. If you are a headache person, you understand.

As I laid in bed yesterday, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Usually on these days, I muddle through at work as best I can, and return home to collapse on the couch. Sometimes I end up in tears from the pain and strain of a day spent teaching with a migraine.

This time, I’m home. And while I’m obviously not happy about the health crisis that keeps me quarantined, it is always on my mind that I’ve been spared during this dangerous time. I have felt especially grateful during this migraine of mine. I’m healthy. I’m safe. And today, during this round of pain and nausea, I’m able to rest and recover at my own pace.

Caroline Ingalls, Ma to author Laura Ingalls Wilder, was quoted as saying, “There is no great loss without some small gain.” Since first hearing this spoken by my fourth grade teacher as she read the Little House books each day, I’ve returned to this simple thought. Find the good. The peace. The gain.

Much has been lost by so many as I’ve sheltered safe at home. I want to just acknowledge and thank God for our experiences.

A day, or three, with a migraine would usually be called a loss for me. Unable to do as I wish. Not being my best, pushing hard through pain. But today, I’ll climb into my bed if I choose and let the wind blow outside my windows. Today, that opportunity to rest when I’d usually be at work is a gain.

Today, a passing headache instead of a forever heartache is a blessing.

I’m going back to bed in a bit, to listen to the wind and be thankful.

Beauty for those who are clueless

Neutrogena Healthy Skin… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01BF6UWTQ?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Let’s talk. I’m 53 and a person of such an age begins to need, shall we say, a degree of maintenance.

Just me? Ok . I need maintenance.

I have never been a make up girl. I mean, I wear it but I don’t love it and as a rule I will always say its overpriced. If an item is more than 3 bucks? Over. Priced.

I was halfway into my forties before I realized that foundation might help, and beyond fifty before I bit the bullet and started using moisturizer. I know. Don’t be like me.

Last summer I found myself at all kind of loose ends about my appearance with no idea what to do. So I started following a few beauty bloggers. A few thoughts on that. Number one, are people really paying double to triple digits for their cosmetics and skin care? Cuz I can’t. I mean literally I can’t. Number two, these ladies still have a lot to offer the unskilled such as I. So I continue to follow and learn. I mean, I own eye cream now! Basically I’m a professional.

I say all that to say this. Those high end products are probably wonderful but it’s just not happening around here. So I thought I’d share the occasional beauty product that works for me, and maybe will for you too.

With quarantine, I’m not doing a full face on the daily. But I do have to deal with Zoom (Lord help,) and I do like a little improvement on what comes naturally.

Hence, the link at the top of this post. I use this daily instead of a full face, add exactly 43 seconds worth of eye make up and I’m ready to Zoom (Lord help.) It’s a tinted moisturizer, with sunscreen. Lightweight, light coverage. Great for summer. I still look every minute of 53, but it’s my best low maintenance 53 at a reasonable price.

Just thought you might like to try it! Do you have a favorite make up trick? Help a sister out and share!

Natural light. No filter.

Indoors. No filter

Wearing Neutrogena tinted moisturizer. No foundation, concealer or powder. My best attempt at natural eye makeup 🙃

Everything

On the morning of March 13, my phone rang as I was getting ready for my day as a teacher. School was being cancelled for a few weeks due to the Corona virus.

On that day, I realized that this was going to be a personal issue. Not avoiding the virus, but being and doing good in the days to come.

My life in faith began in the evangelical movement of the 1970s where I embraced the ideas of rights and wrongs to be attributed to holiness. My more recent journey has finally become one of the heart, and I’ve changed many of my formerly embraced ideas. But this isnt really a discussion about religious belief systems. It’s about me, frankly.

When schools started closing and changes happened daily for the sake of public safety, I quickly realized, I need to do good right now. And that would require purpose and planning.

I know how to do good in my regular old life. But in these new circumstances, was there a new and different good? Yes, indeed there was. Because I could no longer make good lesson plans, do a good job in the classroom and rely on all of the other good things that defined the days leading up to March 13. In fact, I might just have a dandy excuse to let my guard down and just give myself a break. That thought terrified me. I know just how ugly things can get when I’ve decided I’ve earned myself a break.

What I wanted more than anything on the morning of March 13, was to come to the end of this crisis with peace and purpose. Rules of Christianity weren’t going to be enough. I wanted a heart growing in wisdom, discipline and love. I didn’t want to find opportunities to do good, I wanted to long for them. I didn’t want to just give out of my abundance, I wanted to rejoice in it.

I wanted to notice everything good and beautiful around me with new gratitude. I wanted to take count every day that we were healthy. That was the good. Caring for my home. My health. My people (meaning those God places in my path.)

Maybe you’ve been spending these weeks with little more opportunity than staying healthy. Praying. Being a steward of your home and body. Maybe you’ve wished for “greater” impact. Maybe you’ve lost someone and your days have been comprised of simply feeling lost in your own home.

I want to tell you, if your heart has been compassionate, if your actions have been responsible, if empathy and respect have overwhelmed your frustration…you just may be doing good.

If not, start now. Speak life into the ears of those in your home. Care for the space you’re living in so that its lovely and peaceful. Be kind to your body. Invite Jesus into everything.

When the doors fling open, let’s look back and say. “God was in this, and I did good. “

When you feel unfiltered

I had plans today.

With the promise of sunshine and warmer temps, I have looked forward to today all week.

I would spend some time in the yard, do some sprucing up around the house. Put my pillows and flag out on the front porch. I was going to do my hair and makeup and maybe even a pedi (blue!)

The sunshine is here, as wonderful as I’d imagined. The rest is not. I’m in a funk. No particular reason, our brains just occasionally behave like sullen children who refuse to have a good time. Its hormones in my case. A very familiar feeling of blah that can be predicted with a calendar.

I am not wearing makeup and my feet are too cold to endure a pedicure. I think I brushed my hair. Or did I?

I haven’t spruced a single thing and my porch will have to wait.

I planned a fun post today, of drug store beauty products and front porch photography. Maybe even a selfie looking happy and busy.

Nope.

But I’m here to tell you. It’s a blah day in the sunshine and nothing more. I’m not always standing on Faith Mountain, she for whom Proverbs whatever it is was written. And I dont feel like looking up the reference either.

I could take a few carefully cropped photos and post as planned but I won’t. Lack of authenticity is boring even when its beautiful. It’s good to know what you’re feeling, and know you’re still you and God’s still Him. Actually its liberating and powerful, in a thinking about a nap sort of way🙃.

So, I’ll share that selfie, here’s my unfiltered blah self. If you look closely, there’s a mustard stain on my shirt. And that’s ok.

Storms

The Mr and I were chatting yesterday about, frankly, how easy the last several weeks have been. Before you doubt my sanity, or sincerity, let me explain. The world hasn’t been easy. This is a threatening and worrisome time, to say the least. For many, it has been a devastating month. Our hearts have broken day by day as numbers of the sick and the dead have been announced.

Our conversation was in reference to gratitude, because our home has been, thus far, spared from COVID-19. The only issue we’ve faced has been the universal challenge of being home. Together. With very few distractions. During a cold and wet Michigan Spring. And THAT has been easy.

It would not have been so easy at earlier times in our lives. But during storms, a tree will soak in the rain and lay deeper roots or be blown to the ground.

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on, and thanking God for, deeper roots. I intend to grow deeper yet in the current storm.

There was a time when our finances would have been inadequate. But we learned, we sought wiser ways to earn and live.

There were days that our words were harsh and our actions were selfish. But God convicted and we repented. Real repentance that brought change. So, while far from perfect, we’re careful and purposeful. Especially on days when we’re easily frustrated and continually together.

Our home is nice. Maybe that seems silly, but we haven’t always lived in a nice home. That’s a big one for me. I am deeply affected by my surroundings, and my husband is not. The work we’ve done to create our home today is a result of growth, maturity and almost daily negotiation.

Thirty years ago we were broke, arguing and living in disorganization. I saw myself through the lens of others, always trying and rarely succeeding to measure up. I was angry at the state of my life. I didn’t know how to hold myself accountable. Those were stormy years. Hard lessons were learned from repeated failure.

It might seem that my point is some sort of finger-wagging from on high. Not at all. As we’ve talked about the shelter we have had in these weeks, we’ve been so thankful for those other storms. I’m not ashamed that I lived in those soaking rainy days. They were necessary, all trees need the rain to grow. Only Jesus prevented us being knocked down. There’s no pride in that, just gratitude. The storms created work for us. The work grew roots that hold us steady today.

If you’re in the storm today, don’t be discouraged. You may feel messy. You may look messy to others. But deep down, beneath the ground where no one can see, your roots are taking hold.

The sun will shine someday, and you’ll grow fully into God’s intentions. Don’t be ashamed of the storm. You’re beautiful in the rain.

A sip of peace and evening grace

On most evenings, when weather in The Mitten allows, the Mr and I come outside for a bit. The back porch consistently cures the day’s troubles. In truth, this day hasn’t been troublesome at all, making the evening all the nicer.

We’ve made a practice of thanking God for every day of health and well-being. Today’s weather was practically perfect so our bird feeders are filled and we can almost touch the promises of Spring flowers and coffee outside in the mornings. All of the sorrows and worry of the recent days have nourished a deep and humble gratitude. I’ve always been grateful for home, but I don’t know that I’ve ever been quite so desperate for shelter. Safe at home, how heavily those words sit in my heart these days.

I pray that you are sheltered, peaceful and safe this evening. Truly, a daily miracle of global proportion.

Life & Style

Hey y’all!

Staying safe at home has given me time to think and time to write. I’ve missed blogging, other platforms just don’t exactly meet the same need for me, so why not revisit the back porch?

I turned 53 this weekend. Getting older is weird. There’s an absolute feeling that time is passing too quickly, and some dreams aren’t going to come true. I’ll never be able to correct some of my mistakes. I’ll never get those years back. And then, there’s the other perspective. I need much less, at least from external sources. I have less time ahead of me than behind me, so there’s no sense in dressing, speaking or living for others. And that realization comes not with a feeling of entitlement but of discovery. I’m old and brave and sure enough to be she who God created, needing only the nod from Him to like myself. I’ve been, unintentionally, living less for God than I meant to, trying to fit into places He didn’t create for me.

That all sounds much more spiritual than most of my thoughts actually are. On a daily basis, it means wearing a graphic t shirt even though I might be too old. Or playing with my hair and make up and having fun instead of seeking approval. It means more daily pleasure just living in my own skin and less self conscious moments worrying that fat girls shouldn’t wear leggings. Because I am and I am.

This, will be a lifestyle blog for the ones who just want to be fully as intended by God. Who want to create a home that’s individually exactly perfect. Who can’t figure out what to do with their eyebrows. Who are ready to be who they are.

So here I am. 53. Wearing hats that aren’t always flattering. Absolutely insistent that God made me weird and I kind of like it.

 

Y’all still there?

Well now.  Long time no see! Or write or read or whatever 🙂

So, how have you been?  I’m good!  And frankly, I’m surprised to see you, being that this blog is something of an old abandoned house.  I haven’t had much desire to write for a very long time.  I’ll just be honest and let you know, the world at large has taken on a distinct flavor of unkindness and I chose to make my own world a bit gentler by withdrawing.  It’s not that I’ve such a noble spirit, it’s really that I noticed myself returning unkindness with more of the same…intolerance, anger, offendedness.  Well, that just won’t do and so I have limited my interaction to the good old-fashioned face to face method for a while.  I’m feeling better, more discerning and less reactive.  At least I hope so.  So hello 🙂

Let’s see now, what’s been happening in the hundred years since we talked?  I’m teaching high school, I think you knew that?  No longer bedside nursing, now I teach a nursing assistant class in a career center in the school district in which I grew up.  Best job eva.  I could not be happier going to work every day.  In fact, I’m currently enjoying summer break and believe it or not, I have discovered that when summer draws to a close, I actually look forward to returning to work!  Of course, being that my degree is in nursing, I now need to complete my education degree so I’m doing that as well as working, will graduate with my bachelor’s in education in 2020.  At the age of 98 😉

In other exciting news, the Mr. and I have bought a travel trailer!  Yup, we’re campers!  We made the decision to purchase a camper after approximately 27 minutes of careful deliberation.  Daboyz and their wives are tent campers as they are much younger and more fit for the wilderness than are we.  We enjoyed our inaugural long weekend camping a few weeks ago.  The Mr. and I, with our Loki.  Jay and Kateland with Teddie; Mac and Susan with Buddy.  Loki, Teddie and Buddy being our respective dogs.  It rained buckets and we all huddled in the camper and had a great time.  The Mr. and I are off on our next adventure in a few weeks heading to Northern Michigan towing our long long trailer and stopping along the way until we finally reach the Upper Peninsula where we’ll be camping on Lake Huron.

And that’s a recap of all that’s happening around here.  I hope to find the joy and contentment I used to find in writing and visiting from this back porch of mine.  And I pray that this day finds you living in neighborhoods where kindness and encouragement find a voice louder than unkindness.

Grace,

sara

Camping adventures! Our June trip, just before the rains came down and the floods went up!

Sabbath meditation~

Sabbath meditation~

When we read the entirety of Ephesian 2, we find the true message of God’s workmanship.  Without Jesus, we wander aimlessly.  We are incapable within our own instincts and desires to be the masterpiece that the world tells us to see in the mirror.

The truth is that we are all born waiting for the moment of redemption, when the dirt and stone of our true nature is chiseled away by the hand of the Master.  In Christ, a masterpiece emerges.  In Him, we are given the privilege of participating in the good work of serving, loving and sharing the truth.

This week, I submit myself to the good works, in Jesus, that make me beautiful.